This morning the paper tells me that Massachusetts ranks 8th among states for defense procurement. That scares me. I don’t think I want Ted Kennedy with his finger on the red button after a night at Ri-Ra.

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Many states prohibit private roadside memorials for victims of fatal crashes. Claiming that they distract the living, the states of Colorado, Massachusetts, Wisconsin, Texas, Florida, and Missouri have all banned them. Because, in the eloquent phrasing of one official, “They are an impediment that causes other people to stop and get hurt. […]

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The commuter has added a wireless connection to their service, so now I can speak to you, readers real and imagined, as I ride the train. Before I could only hold you in my thoughts. Again to quote Lowell, “I thought of you each hour of the day/ Each minute of the hour/ Each second […]

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Great concert review in today’s paper of a Bach piece called “Air on the G string.” You think Germans just read all day, but apparently they listen to R&B and let it inform everything they do.

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A Greenpeace canvasser approached me today and said, “Dude, you look worried about the environment.” I told him that only two things could frighten me: credit card debt and loans from Sallie Mae (who’s fucked me harder than anyone else). Now look, we all get defensive about environmental issues around our uncles at Thanksgiving. Fine. But […]

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Amidst the sprawl, some little patches of woods remain in the greater Providence area, along the coast of Narragansett Bay.  One down the way from the house of my youth is representative:  lots of undergrowth, tightly clustered leaf-bearing trees, little streams here and there, lots of poison ovy, lots of ticks, and stagnant green water.  Not […]

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Do you remember the American Communist Party’s response to Fitzgerald’s Tender is the Night? One of their hacks reviewed it and wrote, “Dear Mr. Fitzgerald, you can’t hide from a typhoon under a beach umbrella.” I don’t think he hid by any means. I think he sat there with his Tom Collins and said, “Come and get […]

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I’ve always opposed the death penalty, but if federal marshals could get their hands on one of these spammers who post porn links to our site, I might change my mind. Stop, fellas. Get girlfriends. Get boyfriends. Get pets. Get HBO. Get whatever the hell you need to get away from this site. We use this […]

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Maybe we’ll never know what happened during the RI state police raid on a Narragansett Indian tribe smoke shop several years back. But I’ll tell you what I think. I think state cops all secretly smoke cloves in their cruisers, and they wanted to make off with a bundle that afternoon.

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So, the EPA has denied California the right to impose fairly conservative auto emissions standards (a 30% reduction by 2016), along with the 17 other states that were poised to adopt the California model.
Let me tell you how deep my anti-statism runs this and most other mornings.  I hope California secedes, and I hope the […]

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Delays keep you from dying. Remember that next time your train stops for no apparent reason. This morning my train stopped of its own accord in midstream, and I almost drifted into my anti-statist malaise. But then…I took a breath. Please enjoy this holisitic mantra from a caffeine-addicted careerist: “Delays keep you from dying. Delays […]

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Its funny to think of the ways that English speakers compensate for the absence of a you plural form. For example, many Americans now say “you guys”; some Southerners and African-Americans say y’all; and among the older generation of Italians in this state, some say “yous. ” What’s funny is that the first […]

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When the English colonized New England, they set out to turn forest into farmland.  But in the process, they found boulders and small rocks virtually everywhere, and these had to be painstakingly dug up and moved.  I wonder what diffuculties will be posed for future plowmen by all the asphalt and cement that has since replaced the rocks.  Imagine trying […]

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Let me tell you how my anti-statism runs still deeper this morning. I don’t want anyone regulating film content beyond the directors, editors and Weinsten brothers. I can protect my children, thank you. In my house, the children do not watch network television but watch lots of Bergman films, and I make them close their […]

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Let me tell you how deep my anti-statism runs this morning. I don’t even care about potholes; I’ll drive around them. I don’t even care about bridges; if I can’t get across the river, I’ll walk to the shore with a towel and sunscreen and go swimming instead. I shall away to Innisfree…or something. Raimondo/Moss […]

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